Di Gi Slayers
by Lissy no Usagi
Summary: Slayers meets Di Gi Charat........'nuff said.
1. Cast!

Lissy: Hi ho everybody! Today, as a result of my idiotic-ness and too much sugar, I have decided to put the cast of Slayers into the Di Gi Charat story! …Well, sort of, anyway…  
  
Everyone: *deadpan* Oh, joy.  
  
Lissy: *ignoring them* Let me introduce the cast of characters. As Dejiko, we have Lina Inverse!  
  
Lina: WTH? No frickin' way!  
  
Lissy: And why not?  
  
Lina: Because…goddamn it! You're not saying I'm like her, are you??  
  
Gourry: Uh…I think she's got a point there, y'know.  
  
Zel: *nods* Those laser beams can hurt.  
  
Lissy: *smirks* See? Everyone agrees with me—  
  
Lina: -_-; Erk… FIREBALL! *torches everyone*  
  
Sylphiel: *cough* You're right.  
  
Lina: *vein throbbing* Rrrgh…  
  
Filia: *notices warning symbols of an incoming Dragon Slave* Uh…moving on, moving on!  
  
Lissy: *o.o* Right. As Gema, we have Amelia!  
  
Amelia: What?! Why me?  
  
Lissy: Because Dejiko finds Gema really annoying and beats him up a lot.  
  
Zelgadis: *snickers* Well, that works.  
  
Lissy: -_-; What are you snickering at her for? You have to be the manager of the Gamers store!  
  
Zelgadis: 0.0 WHAT?!  
  
Everyone: *falls over laughing*  
  
Zel: ;_; But… but he's a finger person! Why do *I* have to be a damn finger person??  
  
Lissy: Because I said so. Anyways, back to the cast, Gourry will be Puchiko.  
  
Gourry: *confused* Puchiko…?  
  
Lina: -_-; You know, the dumb-but-cute little one?  
  
Gourry: Uhhh…no.  
  
Everyone: *facefaults*  
  
Gourry: *scratches head* Hmm…  
  
Lissy: 0_0 As Kimura, we have Sylphiel!  
  
Sylphiel: ???  
  
Amelia: I know why! Because Kimura has this disturbing obsession with Puchiko!  
  
Lissy: *nods* Exactly.  
  
Lina: *rolls eyes* Doesn't surprise me in the least.  
  
Sylphiel: ;-; That's not true…  
  
Lissy: And now, as Rabi~En~Rose, we have Xelloss!  
  
Zelgadis and Filia: *jaw drop* WHAT?!?!?!  
  
Xelloss: lll^_^lll That's right! See me in my funky outfit! *swishes bunny ears*  
  
Filia: *turns green* Ooh, I think I'm gonna be sick…  
  
Lissy: o.O; Ahem.  
  
Gourry: Hehehe! Xelloss looks like a girl!  
  
Zelgadis: *struggles to keep from launching Ra Tilt* You know what this means?! Now he won't keep away from me! Especially in that outfit too…  
  
Amelia: *pats his shoulder while Lina laughs her ass off* There, there, Mr. Zelgadis. I'm sure he won't, uh, bother you that much… will you? *twitches nervously*  
  
Xelloss: ^_________^ Sore wa himitsu desu!  
  
Filia: NAMAGOMI! How can you tease poor Zelgadis like that?! *whips out mace-sama and tries to smack him with it*  
  
Everyone: *watches as Filia swings mace-sama repeatedly at Xelloss, who is flying helicopter-style with his bunny ears*  
  
Sylphiel: Maybe as Dejiko and Gema we should've had Filia and Xelloss…  
  
Amelia: ^^; You're right.  
  
Lissy: _ ALRIGHT ALREADY! *everyone looks at her, startled* Ahem. Now, for Minnagawa we will have…  
  
Zelgadis: *groans* Oh boy…  
  
Lissy: Shut it, Stony. As Minnagawa—  
  
Zelgadis: "Stony"???  
  
Lissy: --we have Filia!  
  
Filia: *screams so loud that L-sama hears it* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Xelloss: Yay! ^________^  
  
Filia: _ You-- *starts choking Xelloss*  
  
Sylphiel: 0.0; Oh my. This is very very screwy, don't you think, Gourry dear?  
  
Gourry: *is cheering Filia on as she chokes Xelloss, whose face is starting to match his hair colour* Yeah! Get him good! Uh... what was that you said, Sylphiel?  
  
Sylphiel: _ Never mind…  
  
Lina: Are you paying us to do this?  
  
Lissy: ^_~ Sore wa … himitsu desu!  
  
Lina: *snarls* You'd better, or I'll Dragon Slave your sorry @$$ to—  
  
Amelia: Miss Lina! Di Gi Charat is a show that's meant for children!  
  
Lina: ARGGGGGH! *casts Dragon Slave at Amelia and torches the whole area*  
  
Amelia: o.O; *cough* Ouch.  
  
Lissy: ^^; See why you got picked to be Gema?  
  
Amelia: ………Shut up!  
  
Lissy: All righty then, let's get on with the show!  
  
Everyone except for Xelloss: *sobs* Why us?? 


	2. First Episode!

1 Lissy: All right, let's start the show… oh, and one more thing…*hits a button labeled 'Random Pokemon Censor'* Hee hee hee… all right, let'er rip!  
  
*Theme song and animations start up. Lina, Amelia and Gourry, in their respective costumes, all fall from the ceiling in a big lump*  
  
Lina: [Psyduck!]!! *punches Gourry accidentally in an attempt to get up* Oops! Sorry, Gourry!  
  
Gourry: @_@ I thought you were supposed to beat up Gema, not Puchiko…  
  
Sylphiel: *was watching from offscreen* Gourry dear, are you all right? *runs forward*  
  
Lina: *snarls* Back off, Sylphiel! LASER BEAM! *shoots a laser beam from her hands instead of her eyes*  
  
*ZAP*  
  
Sylphiel: x.X; *falls on Amelia*  
  
Amelia: *is rolling around in her Gema costume* Gah!  
  
Zel: o__O;; Looks like it could get violent…  
  
Lissy: T_T Imbeciles.  
  
Xelloss: Saaay… is it just me, or is Lina being possessive over *your* Gourry?  
  
Lissy:……….  
  
Xelloss: *smirks*  
  
Lissy: You know what? Shut up. --;  
  
Filia: *growls* Stupid namagomi…  
  
Lissy: *ignoring them both* All right, where's the spaceship?  
  
Zelgadis: *points up* Umm…  
  
Everyone: *looks up* AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! *the spaceship falls, then it bounces around squashing everyone* @_@; Oww…  
  
Lissy: ^^; Umm… okay, just go to the script and say your lines!  
  
Lina: *grumble grumble [Jynx!]* Er…okay-- *puts on a really fake kawaii voice* Oh no-nyo! The spaceship has crashed into Earth-nyo! What are we gonna do-nyo?  
  
Amelia: *struggles to remember her lines* Umm…gema?  
  
Everyone: *facefaults*  
  
Amelia: Maybe we should look for somewhere to stay-gema…  
  
*the lights go off*  
  
Lissy: *growls* PHIBRIZO! Stop playing with the lights!  
  
Phibrizo: *smiles sweetly from the control box* Yeeeess?  
  
Xelloss: *gives Phibrizo the thumbs-up* ^_^  
  
Filia: Don't make me kick your [Jigglypuff!], you two…*growls threateningly*  
  
Lina: TURN THE [Pikachu!] LIGHTS ON!  
  
Gourry: *whimpers* It's dark…  
  
Zelgadis: -_-; LIGHTNING! *the whole place lights up again; everyone except for the two Mazoku sighs in relief* There, much better.  
  
Gourry: I'm hungry-nyu.  
  
Amelia: ^^; Mr. Gourry, that's not your line!  
  
Gourry: ………….It isn't? Oh well.  
  
Everyone: *sweatdrop*  
  
*Scene change to the Gamers store…*  
  
Lissy: *hisses* Zel, it's your cue!  
  
Zel: (offscreen) No! I refuse! I hate this stupid finger person costume!  
  
Lina: Come on, Zel! We won't laugh too hard, I promise!  
  
Amelia: Miss Lina!  
  
Lina: *shrugs* Eh.  
  
Lissy: Just get OUT there! *shoves him out with much difficulty*  
  
Zelgadis: [Squirtle!]  
  
Everyone: o____O;; *jaw drop*  
  
Sylphiel: *tries hard to keep from snickering out loud* Uh, that's an interesting look, Zelgadis.  
  
Zel: *eeeeevil glare* Shut. Up.  
  
Phibrizo: You're not saying your liiiines……  
  
Xelloss: That really shows off your, uh, stone-ness?  
  
Zelgadis: _ [Diglett!] I hate this… oh, I mean, you can work here at Gamers! *rolls eyes* Sheez.  
  
Lina: *big fake smile* Oh thank you-nyo! Oh yeah, one last thing… *socks Zel in the jaw*  
  
Zel: 0_0; What the hell was that for?!  
  
Amelia: ^_^; Anou… Mr. Zelgadis, it was written in the script, Miss Lina had to do that!  
  
Lina: *smirk*  
  
Zelgadis: [Slowpoke! Charmander! Pidgey!]  
  
Lissy: O.O; I would have expected that kind of language from Valgarv, not you…  
  
Valgarv: *pops up out of nowhere, and goes chibi* What? Do you have a [Bulbasaur!] problem with my [Onix!] language??  
  
Everyone: --; No…  
  
Xelloss: Oohoohoohoohoo…. *looks around the corner, laughing the evil Rabi~En~Rose laugh*  
  
Filia: _ Not only is he a namagomi but he's an idiot as well.  
  
Lina: Nyo? *pretends to be shocked* Who's that-nyo?  
  
Gourry: It's Xelloss in a slutty dress-nyu.  
  
Everyone: o__O;; GOURRY?!  
  
Gourry: *shrug* What? It's true, isn't it?  
  
Amelia: @_@ Gemaaaa……  
  
Lissy: o.o; Uh…I think that's enough for the first episode! Okay people, you can stop now!  
  
Everyone: THANK L-SAMA, SHE'S STOPPED! *big sigh of relief*  
  
Lissy: -__-;; Geez.  
  
STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT EPISODE OF DI GI SLAYERS-PYO! 


	3. Second Episode.....sort of

Lissy: Konyanyanichiwa! Instead of doing the second episode of Di Gi Slayers—  
  
Everyone: YAYYYYYYY!!! *all dance around*  
  
Lissy: *glares at everyone* --we'll do the episode when Dejiko got possessed by a clam instead since I forgot what happened in the second episode!  
  
Everyone: *screams in horror* NOOOOOO!  
  
Lissy: It's cute. You get to see Puchiko brushing her teeth. ^_^  
  
Gourry: You have to watch me brush my teeth?  
  
Lissy: Yup. Minnagawa has to perform an exorcism on her.  
  
Lina: I have to act like a [Clefairy!] CLAM?!  
  
Zelgadis: *nods grimly* I read the plotline.  
  
Filia: I have to perform an exorcism?? But I'm a priestess!  
  
Xelloss: Soooooo?  
  
Filia: *punches his face in* :/  
  
Amelia: Do I do anything other than fly around saying 'Gemaaaa….'?  
  
Lissy: *flips through her notes* ……….Nope.  
  
Amelia: T_T Joy.  
  
Sylphiel: OKAY EVERYONE! JUST SCREW THIS AND GET IT OVER WITH!  
  
Everyone: 0.0; Did…we just hear that from you?  
  
Sylphiel: _ No….  
  
Lissy: Good. You heard the woman, let's get this show on the road! ^-^  
  
Everyone: SYLPHIEL!  
  
Sylphiel: *whimpers* Sorry…  
  
*Scene change to Dejiko's bedroom*  
  
Gourry: *gargle gargle p-TOOI!* Don't mind me, I'm just brushing my teeth- nyu… *gargles some more*  
  
Sylphiel: That's so cute! -^^-  
  
Lina: *from under the blanket* Weirdo-nyo. It's just Gourry in Puchiko- type pajamas-nyo…  
  
Lissy: _ You're supposed to be acting like a clam! And by the way, Gourry in his pajamas is cute. Now be a clam!  
  
Lina: Sheez-nyo. *lies like a lump under the covers* Clam-clammy-clam-ish- ness-nyo!  
  
Everyone: *facefaults*  
  
Amelia: Clams don't act like that-gema!  
  
Lina: T_T No one cares-nyo.  
  
Amelia: _._ Gemaaaa…….. *pretends to be really freaked out* Oh no-gema! She's been possessed by a clam-gema!  
  
Filia: *shows up in the doorway with Sylphiel* She's been possessed by a clam!  
  
Zelgadis: She's been possessed by a clam! *pretends to be shocked*  
  
Sylphiel: *is dressed like Kimura, complete with ever-changing lapel flower* She's been possessed by a clam! My… uh, sister Minnagawa here can perform an exorcism!  
  
Lissy: -_-; It's been said four times already. We get the point.  
  
Xelloss: *pops up out of nowhere* You don't need an exorcism! I can get her back to normal! *punches the Lina/Dejiko lump with his bunny ears* Bwahahahaha!  
  
Lina: FIREBALL-nyo! *blasts Xelloss out of the room*  
  
Amelia: *watches Xelloss fly out* She's back-gema…  
  
Lissy: No! That's not in the script! _ Stick to the damn script!  
  
Gourry: Don't be so grouchy-nyu.  
  
Zelgadis: That's what she does best. *bends over backwards in the finger- person costume*  
  
Sylphiel: Aww, kawaii Gourry-sama… *goes into happy daydream about him*  
  
Everyone: *sweatdrop*  
  
Lissy: Filia! Do the exorcism! NOW!  
  
Filia: *hides behind Sylphiel, whimpering* Okay… *chants some gibberish and waves her mace-sama around, pretending to do the exorcism*  
  
Lina: *pretends to still be a clam* Not working-nyo…  
  
Filia: Drat! *pretends to be disappointed*  
  
Xelloss: *comes back in* Do it again, Minnagawa! *pats Filia's arm comfortingly*  
  
Filia: Don't touch me! :/ *whacks him out with mace-sama, making a Xelloss- shaped hole in the wall*  
  
Sylphiel: 0.0 Just do the exorcism, 'Minnagawa'.  
  
Filia: Okaaay… *does the same ritual*  
  
Amelia: Let's see if it works this time-gema.  
  
Zelgadis: Wanna bet. *rolls eyes*  
  
Lina: *socks Zel as she pretends to be un-clam-ish* What happened-nyo?  
  
Everyone: Yay! She's normal again!  
  
Gourry: 0.- Not feeling so good-nyu…  
  
Sylphiel: Oh no! Recovery! *casts Recovery on Gourry*  
  
Lissy: You IDIOT! You weren't supposed to do that! *glowers at Sylphiel*  
  
Sylphiel: *cowers into a corner* Yes ma'am. I won't do it again.  
  
Gourry: I feel…clam-ish-nyu! *acts like a clam* Clam clam-nyu! Clammy clam-ness-nyu!  
  
Amelia: Here we go again-gema….  
  
Zelgadis: Oh God no! Will it ever stop?!  
  
HEHEHE… FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON DI GI SLAYERS! 


End file.
